Husband Making $100K Says He's 'Bleeding Money' While FormerNurse Wife Spends Freely And Brings In $0—He's Issuing Ultimatum Over Her 'Work' Jeannine ManciniJanuary 6, 2026 at 3:01 AM 0 When your income hits six figures but your savings hit zero, something's off. At least that's how one husband sees it—and now he's ready to cut the snacks, the streaming, and maybe even the shirts. In a Reddit post titled "AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum about her 'work'?", a man says he's fed up—and financially tapped out.
- - Husband Making $100K Says He's 'Bleeding Money' While Former-Nurse Wife Spends Freely And Brings In $0—He's Issuing Ultimatum Over Her 'Work'
Jeannine ManciniJanuary 6, 2026 at 3:01 AM
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When your income hits six figures but your savings hit zero, something's off. At least that's how one husband sees it—and now he's ready to cut the snacks, the streaming, and maybe even the shirts.
In a Reddit post titled "AITAH for giving my wife an ultimatum about her 'work'?", a man says he's fed up—and financially tapped out. He earns $100,000 in Salt Lake County, Utah, their mortgage is $2,200 a month, and the cars are paid off. But thanks to rising expenses, he says, "we are still bleeding money."
His wife, a former nurse, has been a stay-at-home mom for over six years. Two years ago, inspired by her sister's success, she started a T-shirt business on Etsy. The result?
"To my knowledge, net $0—unless she's spending it in ways I'm not aware of," he wrote.
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In the meantime, the spending hasn't slowed. He says she'll drop $300 on a child's birthday, then ask him for grocery money days later. The pantry, he adds, is filled with "exorbitant snacks that I never touch." Her mom often covers the big-ticket outings, which he believes is feeding an unrealistic sense of what their lifestyle should look like.
"I love my kids," he wrote, "but if we can't pay for it, we shouldn't do it. My wife can't understand that."
He says the real tipping point was her business draining time and energy while producing nothing in return—"not being a homemaker because she's investing into this business that has no fruits." After 1.6 years of trying to stay supportive, he gave her a two-year deadline: either bring in income, or he takes full control of the spending.
Now that the deadline is here, he's ready to act.
"I won't make her quit. But I'll be cutting Netflix, Amazon, etc. I will do the shopping and I'm not buying the snacks she always gets. I'll do the cooking if I have to."
Commenters asked what her response was when he brought up their savings being gone. He answered plainly, "I have brought this all up and she gets defensive, saying I need to trust the process."
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That's where the patience ends.
Reddit users responded with a mix of finance-focused advice and blunt assessments. One urged him to "pull your credit reports" because "her spending may be worse than you think." Another suggested cutting access to joint accounts and assigning her a grocery budget "before she bankrupts you."
But not everyone saw it as so simple. Some pointed out that she may not understand the math until it's visualized—offering tips like laying out the bills and income with Monopoly money to drive the point home. Others noted that her mother's generosity may be distorting her sense of financial reality—she's living as if she's using mom's money, not her husband's.
Many also asked if she could go back to nursing. He confirmed that her license is active and their youngest is in school, making a part-time return possible. One fellow RN even said she earns "$600–$900 a week working school hours."
A few pushed for tough love, warning that financial stress is one of the fastest routes to divorce. And yes, some said he's right to take control. "She clearly doesn't have an understanding of handling money, so it's best if you do take over," one wrote.
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Still, in a marriage—especially one strained by money and resentment—"taking the reins" isn't always as straightforward as Reddit makes it sound.
The husband insists he's not trying to dominate the relationship. "I don't want to come off as a controlling husband," he said. But the issue isn't just dollars—it's agency, trust, and who gets to define what "work" looks like.
Devil's advocate? She's trying. Keeping a nursing license active for over six years shows she hasn't shut the door on returning to work. And while the Etsy business has produced no income, it may represent more than just T-shirts—it's independence, identity, or an attempt to contribute without abandoning her role as a parent.
But at the end of the day, he's the one staring at the empty bank account. He's working full time, plus a side gig, and he's scared of what would happen if even one paycheck stopped. "If I lost my job, we'd be in huge trouble," he wrote.
Marriage counseling could help. So could a spreadsheet. But at some point, he says, words stop working. And if that two-year clock just ran out, he's about to stop asking—and start budgeting.
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Source: "AOL Money"
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Published: January 06, 2026 at 04:18AM on Source: RED MAG
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